The 4 C’s of Betrayal

For the Betrayed

#1 - You did not Cause this.

What you are going through is not your fault.Your husband’s sexual brokenness was likely set in motion before you were in his life. None of us are perfect and we all have our own work to do. But your husbands choice to be unfaithful is 100% his responsibility. This is a time when your insecurities surrounding this will come out. If I were skinnier, prettier, smarter, more exciting, he wouldn’t do this. These are lies! You are NOT to blame for your husband’s acting out. It has nothing to do with you.

#2 - You can’t Cure him.

We often want to save or fix our husbands. We don’t have that power. Let go of trying to do what only God can do. We can make things worse when we get in the way. Letting go and giving it to God is freeing and helps us heal. He is capable!

#3 - You can’t Control him.

Trying to control things is a natural trauma response. You don’t want to get hurt again. Things feel so out of control. Checking his devices, constantly asking questions, checking his whereabouts…..this will drain your energy! He will feel controlled. It will not be effective and it will hurt your own ability to heal. It is healthy and appropriate to ask for what we want and need to heal & stay in the relationship. This is not control. This is about taking care of you!

#4 - You can Choose to embrace your own healing!

It may take time for you to realize that your husband is not the only one who needs help. We get so focused on him and the issues and basically surviving from day to day that we forget to take care of ourselves. You may feel shame or embarassement. You may feel no

one will understand or that others will judge you. The fact is betrayal is deeply traumatic and we need help to heal. Fight whatever it is that keeps you from reaching out for safe help.

Embrace your own healing no matter what your spouse is choosing.

Your life matters, you are worth it and you are loved!

Please reach out!

~Psalm 34:18~

“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”