Discovery

Discovery is the term used to describe when one person finds out about another person’s betrayal (pornography use, affair or sexual addiction).

Let’s look at discovery like a car crash. Joe and Mary were out for a drive one day. Joe got a bit distracted looking at the beautiful scenery and missed a red light. They were hit by another vehicle crossing the intersection.

There are two people in this vehicle. Joe and Mary. Joe was at fault. He caused the crash but both of them need care and recovery.

Joe may say he is never going to drive again. That may seem like a solution to him but his wife, Mary, is sitting with 2 broken legs. What about her?

In the same way, an addict or someone looking at porn may say, I am going to stop, thinking everything will be okay. The marriage will be fine then.

Betrayal involves two people. Both need care and recovery. It is important to know this because at the time of discovery, for the betrayed, there is deep hurt, often trauma. This needs lots of care. Ladies you will have a million questions, fears and insecurities. That is normal. Don’t walk through this alone.

As for the betrayer, you did cause this and it is your responsibility to own it. Be accountable. Be there for her but also seek out help for yourself. Sobriety is NOT enough. There is always deeper work that needs to be done. You CAN overcome this!

We can’t always assume the broken pieces of our life circumstances are terrible and pointless. Not with our God!

Jeremiah 29:11

“I know the plans I have for you says the Lord. Plans to prosper you, not to harm you. Plans to give you a future and a hope.”